I'm Here
by vonniebeth
Summary: Natalie has known that she wasn't one to be liked. She's spent her whole life being treated badly. But when she considers suicide, who will be there to help her out? Bad summary, but good story. It's done!
1. Prologue

**Okay, so this is based off a fanfic I wrote in February. Originally, it was a one-shot, but I'm expanding it to get a fuller view of what really happens in the suicidal world (I once was one, so I know what it's like). Please review**

"Life isn't what it's thought up to be," Natalie wrote one day in her diary. "When I was in 8th grade, my life wasn't the berries-n-crème it is now. Actually, it never was, but it's better now than it was then. Nobody in the whole fucking universe can relate to the story that I have. Death is lonely. Death is serious. Death is what I wanted when I was in 8th grade. Can anyone understand me other than the author?"

The author shrugged. "Hey," she said. "Shut it. I gave you your voice and I can take it away just as easily."

"Okay, okay. So, anywho, 8th grade. I dread to remember that awful time. Everyone looked at me as nerd, freak, retard or ugly, or they didn't say anything at all. It's hard to know that you were once not liked. I should've known that all along. Let me start this story from the beginning…"

**PS: most of the future chapters will be flashback**


	2. 17 Years Ago

**some suggestive material, but I don't get into anything. And there is a short reference to the word abortion**

**17 years ago**

"How can we be having a baby?" Dan asked angrily. "Our son died a few months ago and now you're saying that we're having another baby?"

"Well, you tell me!" Diana responded. "You were the one who…"

"I know what I did, but I did it to cheer you up, not to plant a baby inside you."

"Well, what do you want me to do? GET A FUCKING ABORTION? I will if it will make you happy!"

"No. Di, you do not understand me. I'm saying that it's ridiculous to have a baby shortly after our first one died. Maybe having this baby will be a good thing."

"How?"

"Well, maybe it's a sign from God. Maybe it's Him signaling that we're gonna get another chance at being parents. It wasn't our fault that Gabe died."

"I know that. Well, okay. Oh my god, we're going to have a baby… again! And this time, we'll do all we can to keep this one alive, even though we still love Gabe."

"Of course we do. And we always will. He'll always be part of us."

"Always and forever."

"Are you going to cry?"

"You think?"

"Diana, it's okay to be sad. I'm sad too." Dan hugged Diana. "Death is always sad, no matter how many ways you view it. We may have another one coming now, but we can never forget the one who came first."

"You're right, Dan. We'll never forget him. Never."


	3. 16 Years Ago

**16 years ago**

"Dan, do you ever wonder if this was a mistake?" Diana asked as she held baby Natalie in her arms.

"What do you mean?" Dan asked.

"Well, I'm beginning to think that I'm not emotionally stable enough to take care of Natalie. She reminds me so much of…"

"Diana, stop!"

"What? I love her, but don't you think she's like Gabe?"

"No. They're completely different."

"How?"

"Well, um, Gabe was a boy and Natalie is a girl."

"Obviously."

"And Natalie is living and Gabe is…"

"DAN!"

"Sorry, but they're different."

"They have the same slate blue eyes."

"ALL babies have slate blue eyes, Diana. You're letting this go too far."

"She is just like Gabe."

Dan put his face in his palm and sighed. "You aren't going to let this go, are you?"

"Never. I will never forget my son."

"I never said forget him, Diana! Damn it, I was just saying that she's here and you better start loving her. You don't want her to be like those teens that you see on TV, do you? You know, the teens that abuse drugs and alcohol and commit suicide and get pregnant before marriage. I don't want her to be like that. Here, I'll take Nat and you go do whatever."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know, but I'm not going to let Natalie be an unfortunate teenager. I just won't allow it." And with that, Dan took Natalie and left.

"If Gabe were here, this wouldn't be happening."


	4. 13 Years Ago

**13 years ago**

"NATALIE KRISTIN!" Dan yelled.

Natalie skipped cheerfully up to Dan. "Yes, Daddy?" she asked.

"What is this on the wall?"

"A pic-shure."

"How did this get on here?"

"I drewed it with my crayons. Do you like it?"

"NO! Natalie, we do NOT draw on the wall… ESPECIALLY WITH CRAYONS!"

"Why?"

"Cuz… cuz it's wrong, that's why!"

"Oh."

"What?"

"I drewed more. There's one in the bathroom, one on the ki-shun counter, one in my bedroom…"

"And why did you draw them?"

"Cuz Mommy don't like me. She's talking to my brother. Again."

"Nat, answer this question for me: do you know your brother?"

"Yeah. His name is Gabriel, or is it Gabe?"

"Gabe is short for Gabriel. Now, do you see your brother?"  
"No. Mommy always said he was invisible to me, but she can see him when she wants. I don't get why I can't see my brother. He's fam-ly isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. Wait here." Dan walked to the bedroom and pounded on the door. "DIANA GOODMAN, OPEN THIS DOOR IMMEDIATELY! I AM NOT KIDDING HERE!"

"What?" Diana said as she opened the door.

"We have to talk. Now."

"Why?"

"Cuz I said so!" Dan ran in and mostly shut the door. "Diana, you are in big trouble."

"Why?"

"Natalie is talking about her brother, whom she claims she doesn't see. It's thanks to you."

"No, it's thanks to you."

"Look, Natalie may have happened someday."

"What if she was a boy?"

"Not the point, Diana. People are going to think Natalie is crazy when she gets older if we continue to let her talk the way she does about her 'invisible' older brother."

"She has the right to know she has an older brother."

"Yes, but she's 3. She's too little to understand. You know nothing on raising kids."

"I suppose you've done it before?"

"Oh my god, Diana. Keep this up, and Natalie will be having to see Dr. Madden too, and not just when she comes with you to your appointments."

"Shut up. The girl is gonna be fine."

"The girl? Diana, she's your daughter. You can't refer to Natalie as some sort of indirect object. That's…"

"Stop telling me what to do. Just cuz I still keep Gabe in my heart…"

"DAMN IT, WOMAN! This is not about Gabe! This is about Natalie!"

"I don't care about Natalie!"

Natalie stood by the door, listening to every word, then she burst into tears. Dan opened the door to see Natalie crying. "What's the matter?"  
"Mommy… doesn't… care… about… me!" Natalie sobbed.

Dan gave Diana a death stare. "Great job! You made your living child cry."

Diana sighed. "Natalie, I'm sorry. I was mad. People say things they don't mean when they're mad." Diana got up to hug Natalie, but Natalie ran away screaming. "Nat?"

"Go away!" Natalie screamed. "You said you didn't care about me! All you care about is fucking Gabe!"

Dan and Diana gasped in horror. They knew how to calm down an upset 3 year old, but they didn't know what to do with a swearing 3 year old.


	5. 12 Years Ago

**12 years ago**

Natalie walked downstairs from holding something. "Daddy, what's this?" she asked.

Dan looked at it and shook his head. "Where did you find this?" he demanded.

"Upstairs."

"What do you mean upstairs?"

"In the attic. Why? What is it?"

"Is your mother home?"

"No. She went to the psycho dude."

"Okay. Natalie, this belonged to your brother, many years ago. It's a music box that sometimes helped him fall asleep on nights when he was crying."

"Oh. Why is it in the attic?"

"So your mother doesn't find it. If she were to find this, there's no saying how she'd react. She would remember how he used to cry, a lot, and how he…"

"Dad?"

"Sorry, Natalie. It's sometimes still painful to remember his death." Dan wiped a few tears from his eyes.

"Why is Gabe dead? Why can't he be here? Then Mommy wouldn't be out of the house and you wouldn't be sad…"

"Nat, it's a complicated situation. In simple terms, something was wrong with him and he died."

"Was he sick?"

"Yes."

"Was it the flu?"

"No."

"Chicken pox?"

"No."

"Cancer?"

"No! Nat, I really don't want to talk about this right now. It was hard to explain then, and it's still a little hard now. I'll tell you later, okay?"

"Okay."

"Can you please put this back in the attic? I don't want your mother to see it."

"Okay."

Natalie went back upstairs with the music box and Dan shook his head. "I guess I should've seen the day come when Natalie would be more curious about her brother's death."


	6. 11 Years Ago

**11 years ago**

Dan, Diana and Natalie stood outside as the yellow school bus pulled up to the house. "Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad," Natalie said as she confidently walked up the steps.

"Bye, Nat!" Dan and Diana said.

Natalie looked around and sat down next to a window so she could still see her parents. She waved goodbye to them as the bus pulled away from the house. After a little while, the bus stopped again and a young girl got on and sat down next to Natalie. "Hi!" Natalie said brightly.

"Hi!" the young girl responded.

"I'm Natalie Goodman."

"I'm Kailey Crawford."

"I'm gonna be in kindergarten."

"Me too. I have an older brother who's gonna be in 1st grade. He says he's gonna protect me so mean 1st graders don't hurt me."

"1st graders hurt?"

"Yeah. My brother says it's cuz they're jealous."

"Oh."

"Do you have an older brother?"

"Yes."

"What grade is he gonna be in?"

"I don't know. He's dead."

"Oh. I'm sorry. When did he die?"

"6 years ago."

"Oh. I like you."

"I like you too."

"Can we be friends?"

"Sure."

Kailey and Natalie spent the whole morning together. That afternoon, at naptime, Kailey got up, took one of the glasses of lemonade from snack time and poured it onto Natalie's mat. "Hey, look! Natalie had an accident!" Kailey yelled.

Everyone looked at Natalie and started laughing, while Natalie gasped. "I did not have an accident!" she screamed.

The teacher walked up to Natalie. "We do not scream during naptime, Natalie," the teacher said.

"She poured lemonade on my mat!"

"No I didn't!" Kailey said sweetly.

"Then what's that cup for?"

"It's a hat, stupid!"

"We don't call people stupid, Kailey," the teacher said.

"Who cares? My brother's in 1st grade. Her brother is dead. I bet she killed him."

"He died before I was borned!" Natalie said.

"So?"

"Teacher, she hurted my feelings!"

The teacher put her face in her palm. "The first day of kindergarten is ALWAYS a ball. I should've retired."

That afternoon, when Natalie returned home from school, Dan and Diana waited outside. "Hey, kiddo," Dan said. "Want to tell us how your first day of school was? Did you make any friends? Was your teacher nice? Did you learn anything good? Are there any bullies?"

Natalie stared. "I never wanna go to school again," Natalie insisted. "There's this mean girl Kailey who made it look like I had an accident and made fun of me cuz my brother is dead and…"

"Nat, you told people about Gabe?"

"She asked if I had an older brother, and you said to never lie."

"Well, at least I did something right. Did you say anything else?"

"No. I just said he died 6 years ago."

"Okay. Don't say anything else about it."

"I won't."

**haha, I'm thinking of writing a chapter where Natalie gets revenge on Kailey. What do you think?**


	7. Still 11 Years Ago

**sorry for the wait. I had to study for finals. So this is a revenge chapter. And Natalie gets advice from a certain someone… Okay, I'm done**

**still 11 years ago**

"Diana, what are we gonna do?" Dan asked later that evening after he thought Natalie was asleep.

"About what?" Diana replied.

"About Natalie. She's gonna be ridiculed for life cuz of her dead brother."

"What did Gabe do to her? He's been dead for 6 years. Oh my god, 6 years!" Diana began to cry.

"Diana now is not the time for that. She's a little kid and people already are out to get her. What that one girl did to her wasn't nice."

"Yeah, but what the teacher did was worse."

"Forget about that! She was trying to enforce the rules. She doesn't know about our family. It's obvious that Natalie really doesn't want to go back to school, but what are we gonna do?"

"I have no clue."

"We have to figure out something! We can't just let her not go to school. What kind of parents would we be to do that?"

"Good ones," Natalie said to herself as she overheard Dan's yelling from her bedroom. "Not going to school. Yes."

The next morning, Diana walked into Natalie's room. "Nat, time for school!" she said.

"I'm not going!"

"You have to."

"Why?"

"Cuz…"

"Cuz why?"

"Cuz I said so. Come on…"

"NO! Daddy said I didn't have to."

"No, he said we can't let you do that. Go to school and get revenge or something."

"What's revenge?"

"Um… doing something bad to someone who did something bad to you."

"Okay."

"So you're gonna go to school?"

"Yes."

"Do you need help getting dressed?"

"No thank you."

"Okay."

Diana walked out and Natalie started thinking, "What sort of revenge should I do?"

"I can help!" a young boy's voice said. Natalie opened her mouth to scream but the boy put his hand over his mouth. "Shh. Don't scream."

"Who are you?"

"I'm your saving gabe and your brother. Now, I heard you were getting revenge. I wanna help you. Now, this is a fake spider. Just put it in that Kailey girl's hair and say something mean."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I'm an angel."

"I thought you were a gabe."

"Never mind. I know you can do it though. You dropped an F-bomb when you were 3."

"True. Thanks saving gabe."

"Just call me Gabe."

"Okay."

That afternoon, Natalie and Kailey were forced to sit next to each other. "Natalie, you're ugly!" Kailey said rudely.

"I know. Hey, what's under there?"

"Under where?"

"Is it your underwear?"

"But I'm wearing mine."

"You just said there was underwear under there."

"Huh?"

Kailey looked to see what Natalie was talking about and Natalie put the spider into her hair. "Oh my goodness! There's a spider in your hair!"

"What?"

"SPIDER!" a few other girls shouted.

"There's no spider!"

"Yes there is! It's in your hair! EEK!"

"TEACHER!"

"What's going on?" the teacher demanded.

"There's a spider in my hair!"

"Huh? It's a plastic spider…" The teacher noticed that Natalie was laughing. "Do you know something about this?"

"Ask Gabe."

"Who?"

"Gabe."

"Go to the principal's office. I wonder why your last name is Goodman. You're definitely not good."

Natalie walked to the principal's office and shook her head. "So much for Gabe. I knew he was a fucked-up job. I'm glad he's not really here. God knows how much trouble he'd give me if he were alive."


	8. 4 Years Ago

**sorry, I take a pretty big time jump here. We go from 5 year old Natalie to 12 year old Natalie. We meet Henry here, but there's no fluff (sad but true, but relationships that start when you're 12 don't last. I know that from experience). So here we go**

**4 years ago**

Natalie wearily walked down the hallway. She felt sick, like she normally did. Kailey had ruined her reputation and Natalie was in no shape to ruin Kailey's. She wished that that she could go back to that first day of kindergarten and make other friends, but she couldn't, so thus she had no friends. It wouldn't have been that bad if she wasn't bullied on top of it and ignored at home. She wondered if her parents even cared. Natalie sighed and put her head on her locker, wishing it was 3:15 instead of 7:45. "Hi!" a voice said.

Natalie looked towards the direction of the voice. "Hello Henry," Natalie sighed.

"Why so sad?"

"When am I happy?"

"You should smile more."

"You should mind your own business!"

"Okay. I'll see ya, Natalie."

"Whatever." Natalie watched Henry walk away. "He's the only one who's being nice to me and I can't even be nice back. I'm a bitch!"

School went by as a blur for Natalie. She was used to everything that went on between herself and her peers, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. They made her sit by herself at lunch and ignored the fact that she was there. They even bullied her and made her cry. All of them said things to her like "did something die", "I know a joke that'll really make your tits fall off. Oh, you already heard it", "your hair is so ugly", "want to know what's fatter than you? Nothing", "I heard you had sex with 5 people" and, worst of all, "if you get pregnant, I hope your kids die". Natalie couldn't stand all the insults. She only wished she had her parents to talk to.

School finally ended, and Natalie sighed. "Finally. I get to go home and be ignored more!"

"Hey Nat!" Henry called as he ran after her.

"What do you want now?"

"I want to know what's wrong. I'm so tired of people being mean to you and I want to help. I didn't know you so well way back when, but I want to help you. Tell me what the problem is."

"Nothing that you should be concerned of."

"Natalie, please! I don't want you to be sad all the time. I want to see you smile. Please tell me."

"If I tell you, do you promise that you'll go away?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay. In kindergarten, Kailey Crawford poured lemonade onto my mat and said I had an accident, which I didn't."

"Wow that only means that she's an accident."

"Huh?"

"Kailey is an accident for making it look like you had an accident."

Natalie smiled a little and laughed. "I guess that's true."

"Wow, you have a nice smile and a pretty laugh."

"We made a promise, Henry Glaceau. Bye."

"Bye, Natalie."

Henry walked away and Natalie sighed. "He's a nice guy, but he's definitely not boyfriend material."


	9. Still 4 Years Ago

**so, this is a Christmas chapter, even though it's nowhere near Christmas**

**still 4 years ago**

"Nat?" Natalie's cousin Allie said. "Are you okay? You look miserable."

"I am miserable," was Natalie's sullen reply.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I thought you knew. I have no friends at school and everyone but Henry is mean to me."

"Oo. Who's Henry?"

"Shut up. I don't even know him that well. To make things worse, Mom and Dad don't care about me."

"What? I've always known Aunt Diana didn't care, but Uncle Dan too? I think you need to get their attention."

"How can I do that?"

"Well, I never wanted to admit this to anyone, but do you want to know why I'm so perky all the time?"

"Sure."

"I'm a drug addict. Here, I'll give you one, if you want it."

"Well, drugs are bad for you… but if it'll get my parents attention, I guess it would be okay. Thanks, Allie."

"No problem." Allie opened her bag and took out an unopened container of pills.

"Alexandria Emily Goodman!" Allie's mother shouted. "What the hell are you giving that child?"

"Mom, these are M&Ms."

"They sure as hell don't look like M&Ms."

"But they are. Jeez, Mom, why do you have to start commotions with me whenever I want to talk to my cousins? That's the main reason why Jenny and Phoebe won't talk to me. I don't want Natalie to be the same."

"Prove to me that they're M&Ms. Natalie, why don't you eat one?"

"Okay," Natalie said nervously as she took the container from Allie and took one out. She put it in her mouth and looked at Allie, who was pleading for her to say that they're M&Ms. "They're M&Ms."

"Okay."

Allie's mother walked away and Natalie looked at Allie. "These taste awful!"

"It's a taste that takes time to get used to," Allie said.

"How much time?"

"I don't remember…"

They heard footsteps running in the hallway. "Time for presents!" a young boy's voice called out. "That means you, Natalie and Allie!"

"We're coming!"

A few days later, Natalie was in her room putting a drug in her mouth when Diana walked in. "Nat, what are you up to?" she asked.

"Nothing," Natalie responded.

"What are those?"

"M&Ms."

"Can I have one?"

"No!"

"Okay. Listen, I have to tell you something…"

"Yeah?"

"Look, oh my. Natalie, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I just got a phone call saying Allie is in the hospital on life support for drug abuse, so she's probably gonna die. Bye."

Diana left and Natalie stared at the drugs. "No. She's lying. I'll continue to use drugs. I don't care. Mom no sabe nada."

**PS: Mom no sabe nada means Mom doesn't know nothing**


	10. 3 Years Ago

**sorry for not updating last night. I had gotten home late from a party and I was dead tired. Anywho, today I was at another party and me and my friend Double Agent DD were bored. She described this one guy as perfect, I said he was her Henry minus the stoner part, she said she wasn't a druggy, I remembered something from Health last year, and this chapter was born. So this chapter is dedicated to Double Agent DD (who told me to not use her real name), for the idea. And, ps: some underage drinking. My idea**

**3 years ago**

"5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" everyone shouted as they were watching the New Year's Eve special on TV.

"Unbelievable. It's the 13th year without Gabe," Diana said sadly.

"And the 1st year without Allie," Allie's mother commented as she swallowed her sobs.

"I'm sorry. Would you like a drink to toast in the new year?"

"And to forget my problems. I don't know why my innocent angel decided to abuse drugs. It never seemed like her."

"Yeah. I just hope Nat doesn't end up like her."

"Same here."

Natalie frowned as she overheard them. Diana didn't want her to end up like Allie, but she was on her way to becoming like her. She was an awful person. "Not like they care!" she muttered. Then she noticed her 16 year old cousin was acting weird. "Danielle, what are you doing?"

"I think I'm drunk," Danielle said giddily.

"How can you be drunk? You're not 21! You can't drink!"

"And who cares? No one! My parents don't give a shit. My friends don't give a shit. My boyfriend doesn't give a shit, do you?"

"No day but today, baby!" Danielle's boyfriend, Sean, said just as giddily.

"So why not drink?"

"Yeah, man! Join the underage drinkers party!" Sean picked up a bottle of booze. "Here you go, Natalie."

"Um…" Natalie began.

"What? It won't kill you! It's fun!"

"Well, okay, if it's fun." Natalie sighed and drank some. "Hey, this is fun!"

"I told you so!"

"We should get going," Danielle said. "Meghan's party starts soon."

"Okay. Bye, Natalie."

"See ya, Nat!"

"Bye," Natalie waved as she drank more.

That morning, Natalie woke up, ran downstairs and saw Diana sitting at the kitchen table solemnly. "Hi, Nat," Diana said.

"Why do you look sad? If it's about Gabe, then I don't wanna know."

"It's about Danielle and Sean. They got in an accident last night and I just got a call saying they died, apparently under influence of alcohol. Something's not right with this family. Please tell me you won't be like them and that you'll stay sweet."

"Sweet your fucking derriere."

"Nat…"

"No. I know you don't care about me. You said so yourself." Natalie angrily ran out into the cold and started crying. "Everytime I talk to a cousin, they die. I'M AN OMEN! NO! I'VE BEEN SCREWING EVERYONE'S LIFE! LORD, PLEASE KILL ME!" And Natalie threw herself into the snow. "Please kill me."


	11. Still 3 Years Ago

**this chapter is again inspired by and is dedicated to Double Agent DD. And I put Henry in this chapter by request. There is an infinitesimal bit of Henry/Natalie fluff, but not too much. They're only in 7th grade at this point of the story!**

**Still 3 years ago**

The 3:15 bell rang and Natalie ran out of her school bawling her eyes out. New year equals fresh start? Sure, if that mean that people would bully her worse than they did the year before! "I should've died," Natalie muttered.

"Natalie, wait up!" Henry yelled as he ran after her.

"What do you want?"

"I want to know what's wrong. I hate seeing you cry. It breaks my heart to see you sad."

"I'm always sad, Henry. Everyone in this whole fucking school hates me. Just get with the program!"

"I don't hate you."

Natalie looked at Henry with disbelief. "You _don't_?"

"That's right! Hey, how about I walk you home? You've had a rough day today. I can tell."

"How do I know you're not trying to stalk me? What if you're lying to me?"

Henry sighed. "I would never stalk you. I'll walk you home, and if I stalk you, then you have every right to kill me."

"Fair enough."

Henry walked Natalie to her house, which really wasn't that far away. As soon as they got to the front door, Henry began to walk away. "See ya, Natalie."

"No wait! Henry, why did you walk me home?"

"Well, in case anyone dared to bully you on the way home."

"Not like that's never happened before." Natalie's eyes filled with tears. "Why do they randomly decide to pick on me? What the hell did I do to them?"

Henry watched Natalie break into tears and, frankly, he didn't like that. So he suddenly hugged her and ran his hand through her hair. "You didn't do anything to them. The people that think that picking on you is okay are complete jerks. You shouldn't be treated this bad. Look on the bright side: we graduate from grade school next year, and, hopefully, all those mean people won't go to the same high school as you." He glanced at his watch. "I gotta go. My sister Emily is gonna be on my case again." He softly kissed Natalie on her cheek. "See ya."

Natalie looked at Henry, feeling surprised. Did he really just kiss her? "Oh… my… god…" She opened the door. "He is sort of cute, I guess. I wonder if he really is available…"

"Who's the guy, Nat?" Diana asked as she was looking out the window.

"Mom! Are you trying to tell me that you were watching me and Henry all this time?"

"Oh, Henry's his name?"

"Mom!"

"My baby girl has a boyfriend!"

"Shut up. I'm tired of being treated like a little kid. I'm almost 13!"

"But I thought you were my baby girl…"

"No. All you ever did was think about Gabe. I know you don't like me. You said so yourself, almost 10 years ago."

Natalie stomped away angrily and Diana watched Natalie in horror, feeling terrible. "Have I really treated her that bad?"


	12. Again 3 Years Ago

**okay, the small break is over. Thanks to my friend who gave me the idea (sort of). Not my greatest chapter. Mentions of drug use**

**again, 3 years ago**

"Happy birthday to thee, happy birthday to thee. Happy birthday Natalie. Happy birthday to thee," Henry sang teasingly.

Natalie giggled. "Thanks, Henry. You're the only one who remembered."

"You mean your mom didn't?"

"No. She often forgets about me."

"Why?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time."

So Natalie poured her heart out about everything. "So that's why she never remembers my birthday."

"Wow, Nat. That really sucks. I got you a present."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You see, life with my family isn't perfect either. So this is what I use to get my mind off of it."

"What?"

Henry took a plastic baggie out of his pocket. "This."

"What is it?"

"Some call it marijuana. Some call it crack. I call it pot."

"Isn't it dangerous?"

"Overuse is dangerous. Using just a little bit a day won't kill you. I'd never try to kill you."

"I know that. You're the only person in this whole school that I trust."

"Oh yeah. About that Natalie…"

"What?"

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm not coming back to this school next year."

"You're not?"

"No. I'm sorry, but my mom thinks I'm not learning well here and she wants me to get into a good high school and a better college."

"Will we ever see each other again?" Natalie's eyes filled with tears. "You can't leave me, Henry. You're my best friend!"

"You're my best friend too. We'll keep in touch. I promise. I'll call you and text you and email you and hopefully we can get together every once in awhile." Natalie quietly began to cry. "Oh, Nat, please don't cry."

"I have to go now."

"Don't forget your present."

"Thanks. Bye." Natalie ran away with her present and sobbed. "This present is going to come in handy with my life someday."


	13. Another Hellish Day

**this is going to sound ridiculous, but, for these next chapters, I'd like to give credit to all those people that bullied me to my almost suicide death in grade school. Because of you, I've been able to relate to Natalie's suicidal world, which we are now about to enter. Oh, and for the 8th grade stuff, I'm not going to label them as years cuz it could be long**

Natalie ran to her bedroom crying. She had gotten home from another hellish day of 8th grade. She thought that maybe because it was their last year, they'd be nice to her. WRONG! She thought that Henry would come around every once in a while to make her feel better or to see if things have improved since he left. WRONG AGAIN! She thought that maybe the Goodman curse would come over her and she'd die. ONCE AGAIN, WRONG! "I'm not going to wait for death anymore," Natalie muttered between sobs. "If I want it, then I shall go get it." Natalie took one of the scarves her mother had knitted when Natalie was little and tied it tightly around her neck. "Here I come, death."

"Natalie," a voice whispered. "What the hell are you doing? Stop. I know life sucks for you now, but I promise you it'll get better later."

"Yeah right. Who is this?"

"I'm your conscience."

"My what?"

"Take the scarf off THEN we'll talk." Natalie took the scarf off. "Okay. Now I know home life isn't good, and school isn't much better, but I promise that someday you'll make a friend who'll always be there. It won't be just Henry."

"Henry doesn't care for me. I was right. He was faking all his care for me. If he really loved me, which he doesn't, he'd be here for my shitty life."

"I think you're speaking too soon."

"What do you mean?"

"Oops, gotta go. Bye."

"No way! Get back here!" Then Natalie's phone went off. When she looked at her phone, she saw she had gotten a text…

"Hi Nat," the text said. "Sorry. I've been busy for so long. School's been tough. How's school? Love ya always, Henry."

Natalie stared at the text. "Maybe he does care…" Natalie smiled and began to text Henry; little did she know they'd text all afternoon.

**next chapter, I'll get into all the torture that Natalie goes through at school. I just HAD to put in Henry to sugarcoat the bad stuff that's coming up cuz Henry makes everything better**


	14. Just One Day Couldn't Be So Wrong

**so, it's like 3:30-ish in the morning. It took me 2 hours to type this cuz I was watching a movie while typing. I have no clue what I want to do next, so some ideas would be nice, if you can think of any. If not, I do get inspired by the littlest things. I'll probably be more focused on this story until it's done (I'm thinking only a few more chapters will do it. I'm not sure yet). So, yeah, ideas would be nice, please**

"Why is there even an 8th grade?" Natalie thought to herself. "I should've been home schooled. I've been trying to get help from my parents and all they did was…"

"Natalie," someone called after her. "You dropped something."

"Huh?"

"You dropped your popularity… oh wait, you never had that."

"Who wants that?"

"You do. It's obvious you're jealous." The person walked away. "And I want the past 8 years I've had you as a classmate back."

Natalie rolled her eyes pretending she wasn't hurt by those words. She went to her first class, where they were getting tests handed back. Natalie was almost sure she had failed. "Did you curve it?" she asked.

"No," the teacher said. "One person got a perfect score."

"Oh. Who?"

"Who? You." The teacher gave Natalie her test and smiled. "Great job."

"She cheated," a girl yelled out. "She always does. She's the world class dumbass."

Natalie glared at the girl and realized it was Kailey. "Will you PLEASE lay off?" Natalie shouted. "I did not cheat. I never cheat. Just cuz you do doesn't mean I do. I may be a world class dumbass, but it's better than being a low class dumbass, that being you."

"Oh, your wit astounds me. It's just too bad your boyfriend isn't here to laugh with, if not at, you."

"My boyfriend?"

"Yeah. That one ugly dork, what was his name? Oh yeah, Henry."

"Hey! Henry is one of the nicest guys I know. He's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend. And, frankly, he may not be my boyfriend, but I think he's pretty hot."

"That's what they all say. Natalie and Henry sitting in a tree…"

"You know, I'm not gonna take this from you. You're acting like a 1st grader!"

"Good. At least I'm not acting like the baby-ish kindergartener you're being. Speaking of kindergarten, at least I didn't have an accident on the first day of kindergarten."

"But I didn't! You plastic little spastic! You think everyone agrees with you…"

"GIRLS!" the teacher shouted. "Do I need to have a conference with you 2 in the hall?"

"No."

"Then please be quiet."

The next few classes went by and finally it was lunch. Natalie sat by a table by herself, which has become normal for her since the first day of 8th grade. As she took out her boring lunch, some girls that were at the other table began to throw food at her. "What the hell?" Natalie looked at the other girls. "What are you doing?"

"Initiation," one of the girls said boldly.

"Initiation for what?"

"We're initiating you as the most hated girl we know." She threw her pudding at her. "Eat that."

"Uh, no. It's your lunch."

"Well, we figured you could use more."

"No thank you."

"Well, you're still the most hated girl we know. Look, none of the guys here think you're cute, we think you're a disgrace to our class and, well, we just don't like you. Die or something."

"I'd love to do that."

"So do it, dork-ass."

"With pleasure… someday."

As soon as Natalie finished her lunch, everyone started leaving for recess. She walked outside and took out her notebook, where she wrote poetry. She wrote, "Life is bullshit. I'm a misfit. I can't stand life. I hate you, life."

"Whatcha doin'?" Lisa, who was Kailey's best friend, asked.

"What's it to you?"

"Well, god, Natalie, just trying to start conversations. What is this?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Natalie. Life is…"

"No! Stop it!"

"You know, I try being nice to you and you're mean to me. You're a bitch." Lisa glared at Natalie with her ice blue eyes. "And don't think about talking to me again."

Thankfully, the rest of the day flew by and Natalie ran out of school. As she walked home, one of the guys that Natalie had a crush on when she was in 3rd grade yelled, "Hey, if it isn't the All Grade School Reject!"

Natalie furiously walked away, tears of anger, sadness and depression rolling down her cheeks. "When will this nightmare end?" she muttered softly.


	15. Forget Regret

**so, I, like most writers, had writer's block. Thankfully my friend Cor-Cor came in and saved the day. So, my imagination is alive again! Yay! So this is dedicated to Cor-Cor**

Natalie sat at home a few weeks later wondering when the nightmare was going to end. She turned on her Wii and took her anger out on her Wii drums, until Dan walked in. "Nat, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Oh, so NOW you care?" Natalie asked angrily.

"Why? Is something wrong at school?"

"EVERYTHING is wrong at school, Dad. Has been since I was 5. Where the hell were you?"

"I'm not going to appreciate that kind of talk, young lady!"

"When have you ever appreciated me, Dad? When?"

"Nat, you know I love you."

"If you loved me, 8 years ago, you would've let me leave that stupid school and you wouldn't leave me home alone with Mom and you would…"

"Natalie, stop it. You told me school was better."

"Yeah, when Henry was there. Then he left and school began to suck and neither you nor Mom gives a fuck."

"Please tell me you meant that with a 'ph'."

"Uh, no, with an 'f'. Just cuz you can't spell right doesn't make anything different."

On impulse, Dan hit Natalie hard. "I don't want you to swear!"

"I'm not a little kid! I bet you want me dead! If that's what you want, then fine!"

Natalie ran out of the house in a rush. Dan sighed and ran toward the door. "Nat, that's not what I meant! Please come back!"

Natalie ignored Dan and ran far, far away. At last she found herself to be in front of a lake. "Maybe I can drown myself!" she thought. She edged closer and closer to the deep end of the lake where she planned to die. "Goodbye cruel world."

"Natalie," a voice whispered. "It's your conscience again. Don't drown yourself. Yes, your dad hit you, but he didn't mean it. He's stressed about your mom and work and other stuff. He would never hit you on purpose. He loves you. Please don't give up hope yet. I promise someone will want to be you friend. It won't just be Henry."

"Yeah right. Why should I believe you?"

"Cuz I'm your conscience. Just take a deep breath and back away from the deep end slowly."

"Okay." Natalie took a deep breath and walked away. Then she ran back home, realizing what her problem was: she was suicidal. "Life sucks. I need to tell someone." She walked into her room, avoiding her parents, took out her phone and called Henry. "Henry, I have something important to tell you."

"What is it, Nat?" Henry asked, sounding concerned.

"Henry, this might shock you, but…"

"What? Oh my god, are you having a baby?"

"NO! Why would you even think that? Henry…" Natalie's voice cracked. "I hate to tell you this, but…"

"You have cancer?"

"Will you PLEASE not interrupt me? Anywho, I was going to say that I'm suicidal."

Henry froze, not really knowing what to say. "What?"

"I've been thinking of suicide for some time now."

"Why?"

"Well, everyone's mean to me, even my dad, and I have no friends at school. In fact, you're my only friend in this whole world."

"Nat, I don't know what to say. I better go."

"Henry, please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you. I just don't know what to say. I'll talk to you later. PLEASE don't kill yourself."

"I'll try not to."

"Talk to you later."

"Okay."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Henry and Natalie hung up and Diana walked in. "Nat, is everything okay?"

"There's this new thing called 'knocking', Mom."

"Sorry, but your father is upset cuz you left without giving him a chance for apologizing for hitting you. He'd never do it on purpose."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, could you please let him apologize? He doesn't want you to be mad at him. He wants you to forgive him."

"Okay. Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"If I told you I was thinking of suicide, how would you react?"

"Why? Are you?"

"Just hypothetically."

"I don't know how I'd react. I just want you to be happy."

Diana walked away and Natalie shrugged. "Henry and Mom don't know how to react to such thing. I wonder what THAT'S supposed to mean." Natalie shook her head and lay on her bed, wondering if the nightmare was going to continue on.


	16. Thinking of You

**okay, I'm listening to RENT and my 7 year old sister is dancing to it. I just wanted to say that. She's a future RENThead just as I'm an emerging one. This chapter is dedicated to a true RENThead cuz she gave me the idea for Henry's POV. This is in no way related to RENT, by the way**

"No," Henry thought as he hung up with Natalie. "She's thinking of suicide? That does not seem like her. I know school for her is bad, but she always seemed like some sort of person that could put her emotions in something. She seemed too sane. No, we she can't be suicidal. She just can't be."

"Henry, is everything okay?" Emily asked as she knocked on his door.

"Super-duper."

"Okay, well, by the tone of your voice, I don't think so. Can I come in?"

"No."

"Okay." Emily opened the door. "What's wrong?"

"I said no, Emily."

"Yeah, well, I say yes."

"Why do you care?"

"You're my brother. Why wouldn't I care?"

"Cuz you're Emily."

"Okay. Just tell me what the problem is."

"My best friend is suicidal."

"Gasp, that's drama."

"See? I said that you didn't care."

"Of course I care. Suicide is bad."

"Just go away. I'm better off talking to Peter. He wouldn't care either, but he won't treat me like a little kid or tease me about it."

"Oh, come on. You're my little brother. I'm supposed to tease you."

"Yeah, but this is serious. My best friend is thinking of suicide cuz her life sucks."

"Her? You have a girlfriend?"

"Emily! No, she's not my girlfriend. A girl who's a friend, but not a girlfriend."

"So your best friend is a girl?"

"Yes."

"Well, you should lay a move on her… unless you're a chicken…"

"Please go away."

"Okay. I'm leaving. Sayonara, Henry." Emily walked out sadly. "Sorry for trying to be a caring sibling."

"You were doing a bad job of it."

"Whatever, Henry."

As soon as Emily was out of earshot, Henry sighed. "Well, if Natalie's thinking of suicide, maybe I should too. There are such things as cluster suicides, after all…"

Over at the Goodman residence, Diana walked back to Dan. "What did she say?" Dan asked.

"She'll let you apologize…" Diana began.

"YES! But what's wrong?"

"Dan, she just asked me what I would think if she committed suicide."

"What? No. She told me she'd be better off dead, but I thought she was just mad. Maybe she's still mad."

"No. She would never question things like suicide just for the hell of it, would she? I guess I really don't know her that well."

"You think?"

"Do you know her?"

"Yes, of course I do. I know her better than you."

"Oh, you do, do ya?"

"I'll quiz you. What's her favorite color?"

"Pink."

"No, it's green."

"Oh."

"When's her birthday?"

"Oh, come on. I was the one who gave birth to her. Her birthday is March 9th."

"May 9th."

"What?"

"Her birthday is May 9th. Gabe's is, or was, March 9th. What is she allergic to?"

"Dust."

"Chocolate."

"No way. Who's allergic to chocolate?"  
"Natalie!"

"She is? Since when?"

"You don't know her Diana. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go apologize to my daughter."

Dan walked off angrily and Diana rolled her eyes. "He's wrong. He's wrong. He's very wrong. I know her. Natalie something Goodman. Oh my… Why can't I remember? I should have a talk with her."


	17. I Run to You

**they say radio works wonders. I heard this song called 'I Run to You' today and immediately thought of Henry and Natalie. They're in 8th grade now, so I figured I'd give all the Henry/Natalie fans a little treat, including… well, I won't spoil it for you. If you love Henry/Natalie fluff as much, if not more, if that's possible, as me, then you'll LOVE this chapter. Let me know via review what you think. Another Christmassy chapter, even though it is STILL no where near Christmas. I love Christmas**

"It's almost like telepathy," Henry said. "I don't know why, but I feel like Natalie needs me a lot more than I need her. She just better not be dead!" Henry was ready to run out into the cold, winter day when the doorbell rang. Standing outside was a very frightened, sad and cold Natalie. "Nat, are you okay?"

"N-N-No," Natalie said with a shiver.

"Come on in. What brings you here?"

"H-Henry, I j-just came by t-to say that you're my b-best friend."

"You're my best friend too but you look depressed. What's the matter?"

"What isn't the matter? After 13 ½ years, my mom chooses Gabe over me, and Gabe is dead. My dad doesn't know how to raise a young, teenage girl. School is a living hell. People think I'm nerdy cuz I do exceptional in school and they think that's a bad thing. Everyone I talk to dies. I think I'm a mistake God put on this earth. I'm a pure annoyance to everyone. I should just die to make everyone's lives better." Natalie began to cry. "I'm sorry if I've disastered your life."

Henry stared at Natalie and hugged her. "Natalie, you haven't disastered my life. In fact, if you kill yourself, my life would be awful. And you're not a mistake. If you were such a mistake, then you wouldn't have me."

"Maybe you're right. But Henry, everyone at school HATES me. It sucks that I can't see you every day and that I have to be rejected and alone."

"I know it sucks. It sucks for me too. I was the new guy this year and people looked at me negatively. I just made a friend…"

"Sorry for interrupting, but people have hated me since kindergarten."

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry. Hey, do you want to know a real disaster?"

"What?"

"Emily is eavesdropping on us." Henry turned to Emily and glared. "Go away."

Emily just grinned. "You know, little brother, I can name disasters too."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep."

"Like what?"

"Like your girlfriend standing underneath the mistletoe."

"Emily Madalyn, that is not funny. Go away."

"Okay, fine. Your loss, Henry David."

Emily left laughing and Henry shook his head. "Stupid sister…"

Natalie looked at Henry with confusion. "Henry…" she began.

"Yeah?"

"She was just kidding about the whole girlfriend thing, right?"

"Uh, yeah, she was. She's always teasing me."

"Okay."

"But, Nat, there is something that I have to tell you."

"What? Are you moving?"

"Huh? No! It's nothing bad. Look, all I wanted to tell you was…" Henry paused. He wanted to say how much he liked her, but he was nervous. "Happy Easter!"

Natalie put on a half-smile and nodded. "Okay. Uh, Happy Easter to you too. I'll talk to you later. See ya."

Henry watched Natalie turn to leave. "No, wait!"

"Yeah?"

"Uh… uh…"

"Come on. What is it?"

Henry looked into Natalie's brown eyes and said very quickly, "I-like-you!"

"You what?"

Henry sighed. "I like you."

"You do?"

"Yes. Natalie Goodman, I like you, and not just like you, but I like you, like you."

"Wow, Henry, I didn't know you thought about me like that."

"Well, we can just be friends. I'm fine with that."

"No, Henry. You don't understand. That's not what I meant." Natalie lowered her voice to a whisper. "I like you too."

Henry blushed. "Wow. Well, not to get all weird on you, but…"

"What? Do you LOVE me now?"

"No. It's too soon for love. I was just going to say that you're still under the mistletoe."

"I am?" Natalie looked up and saw the mistletoe. "Oh."

Henry walked up to Natalie. "Well, do you think we should?"

"Uh… okay. I guess so."

So Henry and Natalie kissed… until Peter walked through the door. He shook his head and said, "You're a little young, aren't ya, Henry-boy?"

Henry made a face as Peter walked away laughing and Natalie smiled. "I better go," she said. "See you later."

"Okay," Henry agreed. He watched Natalie walked into the cold weather. "She can't die now. Someday, I could be her boyfriend."

Natalie walked down the street. "They say you never forget your first kiss. I wonder if it'll be my last too…"


	18. It's My Life

**okay, Christmas is over in my head and now it's June again, although it's April-ish in the story. This is probably the saddest chapter in this story, but I'll let you be the judge of that. The thing that Natalie does in this chapter I NEVER did, despite how bad my life sucked back then**

"Hey Natalie," Kailey and Lisa called as they ran after her after school.

Natalie turned around to face them. "What?" she asked them testily.

"Jeez, we are just trying to be friendly," Lisa said.

"No you're not."

"Nat, we understand that you've been bullied since kindergarten. We're sorry it's been that way, but we're not sorry for bullying you. Goodbye."

"Wait a sec, Lise," Kailey said. "That's rude. Saying goodbye implies never seeing a person again."

"Exactly, that's the point. I never wanna see Natalie again."

"I agree with you." Kailey stuck her middle fingers up at Natalie. "Goodbye times infinity."

Natalie walked away and tried to ignore them, despite the fact that their words hurt, when a 7 year old girl accidentally dropped a cup of water she was holding. "Oops," the girl said shyly. "Sorry."

Kailey turned around and laughed. "HEY! NATALIE HAD ANOTHER ACCIDENT! SHE SHOULD WEAR THOSE BARBIE PULL-UPS!"

Everyone around them laughed. Natalie felt her cheeks growing hot and she threw a fierce glare at the 7 year old, who looked as if she was going to cry. An adult then walked up to Natalie. "Why are you looking at my daughter like that?" he asked, gesturing to the 7 year old. "Don't answer that. Come on." He took his daughter by the hand and walked away.

"WOW! SHE PEES IN PUBLIC AND THREATENS LITTLE KIDS! WHAT A BITCH!"

Natalie couldn't take it anymore. She ran up to Kailey, punched her face and ran all the way to her house. Surprisingly, her mother wasn't home. Natalie went into the kitchen and took out the sharpest knife she could find. She was getting ready to plunge the knife into her heart when she heard her conscience yell, "Natalie, no! Don't!"

Angrily, Natalie lowered the knife. "What now?" she yelled. "You keep saying I'll make a new friend who isn't Henry. It hasn't happened. And you know that shit Kailey and Lisa pulled on me? I'm tired of waiting. I'm waiting for nothing."

"You'll destroy Henry."

"He has friends."

"He wants to be your boyfriend."

"He's a chick magnet. He'd reel in some girl that goes to an all-girl school, like the author and her friends."

"He doesn't want them. He wants you."

"Tell him I said he can have whatever girl he wants… except for Kailey and Lisa. Goodbye, dumbass conscience. Thanks for nothing."

"Your life is not nothing!"

"It's my life! It's nothing if I say so!" Natalie plunged the knife into her heart and collapsed onto the kitchen floor.

At that second, Diana came home. "Nat? You here?" she called. "Sorry I'm late. There was a lot of traffic and OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS!" Diana looked at the bleeding, unconscious body of her daughter. "Natalie! Oh my god! Natalie!" Diana began to cry hard. "Why did you do this to yourself? I'm sorry for treating you so badly. I guess it was just that…" Diana then heard sirens. "What's going on? I didn't call for an ambulance."

"That's cuz I did," a voice said.

Diana turned to the direction of the voice. "Gabe?"

"Yes. Mom, I know you didn't intend for all this to happen, but Natalie's suicide is not completely your fault."

"Wait, she's _dead_?"

"No, at least I don't think so."

"Why did you call for an ambulance?"

"You can't afford to lose another child. You lost me, and God knows how you'd react if Natalie died."

"Do you promise to protect her if she dies?"

"Of course."

"Mrs. Goodman?" Henry asked as he walked in. "Who are you talking to? What's going on?"

Diana looked at Henry. "Who are you? I wasn't talking. Why do you care?"

"I'm Henry. Words were coming out of your mouth when I walked in. Natalie's my girlfr- I mean my friend."

"Oh, you're Henry?"

"Yep, I am."

"Well, uh, Natalie hurt herself. Badly."

"Will she be alright?"

"I don't know. I came home and there was a knife…"

"KNIFE?"

"She tried to kill herself."

"NO! NATALIE, WHY?" Henry ran away, sobbing.  
"Will he be okay?" Gabe asked.

"I do not know," Diana said. "I was about to ask you the same thing."


	19. Cuz I Die WIthout You

**at this point, I am not sure whether I should let Natalie live or die. I want her to live so she can see how her life would be, but, at the same time, I want her to die so all the people who were mean to her (especially Kailey and Lisa. I hate them now haha) can learn from her death about tormenting someone, and maybe put in a Dan/Diana reaction and something from Henry. Let me know what you want to see happen. I'll be happy to do either**

The Goodman house was empty except for the furniture, Dan and Diana. "How could this have happened?" Dan kept muttering.

"It's my fault," Diana said quietly.

"What was that?"

"I said it's my fault, okay? I was a shitty mother and now it's here to haunt me."

"You're not a shitty mother."

"Yes I am. Whose fault was it that Natalie was hit by a car when she was 4? Mine, cuz I wasn't watching her. Whose fault was it that Natalie started cussing when she was 3? Mine, cuz I said I didn't care about her, when I did, and still do. Whose fault is it that Natalie is dying in a hospital? Mine, cuz I think about Gabe more than her." Diana's eyes became wet. "You saw how sad she was and I didn't even take the time to stop and notice. I'm a life ruiner."

"You're not a life ruiner, Di."

"You called me Di. Natalie wanted to die."

"Could you please be cool for, like, 2 seconds? I know you're sad, but crying isn't going to help our little girl, even though she's not so little anymore. She's almost 14. Anywho, all we can do is pray that God'll let her live."

"Okay."

"You know I love you, right?"

"That's why you married me."

"Absolutely." Dan kissed Diana on the cheek. "I'll always love you, Diana, no matter how fucked up life can be." Then the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." Dan walked to the door and saw a very agitated couple. "Hello."

"YOU!" the woman yelled. "This is YOUR fault!"

"Huh?"

"Our son is in his room crying and contemplating suicide cuz of your daughter."

"Your son?"

"His name is Henry."

Diana gasped. "What does Nat have to do with Henry's suicidal plans?" she asked.

"He has a huge crush on your daughter, and her attempting to kill herself could be the start of cluster suicide. Good day!"

The couple walked off and Diana fell to the ground crying and praying. "God, if you're there and listening to me, PLEASE save Natalie. Take someone else instead. Take me! Please don't let Natalie be the start of cluster suicide. Amen."

At the hospital, unconscious Natalie heard a voice whisper, "Natalie." Natalie groaned in response but the voice hushed her. "Don't speak, just listen. It's me, Gabe. I hope you know that I am very disappointed in you. After all, there's no reason for me to be happy about it. Anywho, Mom and Dad are worried sick about you, Henry is thinking about killing himself, the whole family is worried. Nat, you've made a very dumb mistake. If you die, Mom'll never forgive herself, Dad'll be blamed, Henry'll die and there'll be hell for the family to pay. Nobody knows what is going to happen to you in this situation. Your future depends completely on chance. Good luck to you, Natalie. I must go now." Gabe left and Natalie groaned again. Not only had her brother worried her, but now she was worried about everyone else.

At Henry's house, Henry had locked himself in his room and was bawling. "Natalie, why?" he shouted. "You said you'd live, but you lied to me. You're the only one I ever loved. If you die, I shall die with you. Natalie Goodman, you are my fate. I love you."

"Henry, you okay?" Emily called from outside the door.

"Go away!"

"I'm just trying to care."

"You're too overprotective. I'm 3 years younger than you. Knock it off. I'm not 5 anymore. My best friend is going to die."

"That's what praying is for."

"Shut the hell up. Natalie, if you die, I think you understand why I want to die with you." Henry sighed and prayed for Natalie.

**again, tell me what you want to see. Death? Life? It's up to you**


	20. She Can't Win It

**sorry for taking so long. Only 1 person told me what they wanted via review, and I had to email my friends and write on their Facebook walls… it was nuts. I sort of wrote this in a hurry, so it may not be so great. Well, here we go. And, to Double Agent DD, please don't hate me for making it like this**

Henry walked into Natalie's hospital room. "Hi, Nat," he said. "I don't know if you can hear me right now, but I want you to know that you were the bestest friend I've ever had. I don't know what led you to do this sort of thing to yourself, but remember I'll always love you. They say that this only works in movies, but you never know…" Henry leaned in, kissed Natalie, and, as he backed away, a loud alarm went off. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!"

A doctor ran in. "Code Blue!" he yelled. "Stand clear, dude." The doctor did everything he possibly could to save Natalie, but, to Henry's horror, the alarms stopped and a long, continuous sound started. The doctor turned to Henry. "She's gone."

Henry didn't want to believe it. "What?"

"Sorry, dude, but she's dead."

"What? No."

"I'm sorry. Here, if you want to…"

"No! Natalie, come back! No!" Henry burst out crying and ran away.

At the Goodman house, Diana was sitting in the living room praying, until the phone rang. She got up and answered, "Hello, this is Diana Goodman."

"Mrs. Goodman," the voice at the other end of the phone said. "This is Sharla Mayne from the hospital. I'm sorry to tell you this, but your daughter, Natalie, is dead."

"What?"

"She's dead. I'm sorry to have to tell you that. Her heart failed and she was pronounced dead at 12:25 pm. I'm so sorry."

"No, you're lying! Natalie can't be dead. No!"

"I'm sorry. Please stop by here as soon as possible. Bye."

Diana hung up in disbelief. Then it hit her: she had lost both of her children. First Gabe and now Natalie. "I'm epic failure. I watched both of my kids die." Diana started to cry.

"Mom, what happened?" she heard the voice of Gabe say.

"Your sister is with you now. Please take good care of her. She's still just a baby. Nearly 14."

"Uh, who did you say this to when I died 15 years ago? She's a teenager and I wasn't even a year old!"

"Gabe, please. I don't have time to deal with your smart-mouthing."

"Well, don't worry. I'll take very good care of her. I love you."

"I love you too. When you find Natalie, tell her I love her too."

"I will."

A week later, the funeral for Natalie was held. As everyone was saying their final goodbyes to her, 2 unruly girls walked up to Dan and Diana. "Hi," they said nervously.

"Hello," Dan said. "Who are you 2?"

"I'm Kailey Crawford," one of the girls said. "And this is my best friend, Lisa Jackson. We just wanted to say we're sorry for your loss. We feel like it's our fault Natalie died. We've been bullying her for a very long time. We never liked her, but we understand she's your 2nd child to die, if I'm correct."

"How do you know about our other child?"

"Cuz, on the very first day of kindergarten, she told me about her older brother, Gabe, and how he was there for her in spirit. Again, we're really sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Goodman."

Dan looked at Diana, who looked like she was going to cry. "So, you're the 2 bitches, pardon my language, that killed our baby?" Diana sobbed.

"We didn't intend for her to kill herself. We just wanted her, you know, to go away. I guess it's cuz we were jealous cuz she was so pretty and she had Henry… please forgive us. We truly are sorry."

Diana thought for a few moments. "I forgive you, but that doesn't bring her back."

"We know. We'll leave now."

Kailey and Lisa ran off and Dan looked at Diana. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked.

Diana sniffled. "I guess I will be," she said softly. "I know that she'll be okay. Our baby Gabe is there to take care of her."

"That's right. He is. And so are Danielle, Sean and Allie."

"Yep. You know, I wish I knew more about our Natalie."

"You mean how she used drugs and alcohol?"

"She DID?"

"I was in her room yesterday, and I found packages of drugs and some alcohol. She was a really unhappy kid. Wherever she is, I hope she's happy now."

"Well, she's here. In our hearts, right next to Natalie, she will remain."


	21. Epilogue

**so, here's the ending. I had to write a short epilogue to this. Thank you to all who reviewed and helped me out with this story. I love you all. I might put up a sequel to this. Tell me what you think. Again, thank you. Here's the ending. Oh, and remember how in the way beginning there was Natalie writing in her diary? It was the day before she died that she wrote it and she tried making it seem like it was all in the past because she never thought she'd kill herself.**

Diana was looking through old pictures of Natalie. "She was so happy then," she sighed. "Why did it get to here?"

"Mom," a voice said. "It's okay."

"What?"

"I said it's okay."

"What's going on?" Diana turned around, and standing right before her, was Natalie. "Nat!"

"Yes, it's me. You're not the reason why this happened. Dad told you, those mean girls explained it to you, but you couldn't believe it. Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Tell Henry I said not to worry about me and tell him that he's the bestest friend I've ever had."

"I will."

"See you later.'

"Okay."

Natalie left and Dan walked in. "Who were you talking to?" he asked.

"Natalie."

"Oh?"

"Yep."

"Great. First hallucinating Gabe, now Natalie. It's the never ending cycle. Nothing will ever be normal with us, will it?"

"Nope."

Dan sighed. "I think you should call Dr. Madden about this."


End file.
